Blamer gamer

The mere and bleak existence worried him
feeling half the life has gone away.
Crooked worn out doors closing on him
by itself didn’t send out a ripple of sound anymore.

The hinges were greased and
the disturbance thoughtfully ceased.
Four concrete walls crushed him to a space
of nothingness that scared him to death.
He wished he ran out of his useless breath.

Tools on his desk were unexploited and rusty
and all that mattered didn’t make sense to him anymore.
He slept all day and kept up all night
wishing for a chance of arid nightmares.

Selling away his unstable soul for free
his heart longed to fade out and eternally flee.
The endless bills and disarray of days in months
promised the devil his spirit which he himself found hard to find.
Devil breathed and waited right beneath his bed, brutally kind.

Clothes in his wardrobe smelled like thousand places
yet they belonged nowhere but solely to the closet.
Socks and shoes in the box were worn out with an urge to elope
as the fire in him died and didn’t take them anywhere fine.

His significant love for the moonlight and rainbows fell,
the deceptive rarity of magic revealed the ugly truth as well.
A better day was always from the bygone days of past.
His assumption of dying candles and temporary light
were just one of the million others things basking in the rage of his fight.

The flower vase neither carried the weight of petals
nor did it feel in place like it used to be.
Mirror and the altar of perfume bottles
were seldom used anymore, he didn’t care.

Letting his present to a slow and untimely end
he regretted each second and wanted to apprehend
the promises and the dreams he had for himself.
Reality stuck him and massacred the peace in the air
and he blamed the blameless world for being unfair.

Reasons to kill her

Argh, here I am with a desire to kill that courageous girl,
who doesn’t deserve to live in this miserable world.
Of all the reasons that drive myself to want her dead
most of them are in her own little head instead.

A coward who would like to end her life
doesn’t really cherish the possibilities of love and hope.
A warrior who is courageous enough to step down into the depths of the sea
would be spit out of her depths to get rid of the sickness that lures in and takes form to be.

I need an answer right here and right now,
Why the sea spit you out and made you survive?
Was your shallow self dreadfully weak to reach the depth of her floor?
Or was your deepest fear strong enough to push the salty water out of the shore?

Yes! My selfish self doesn’t know the struggles you have faced
but I want to know the answer that made you to dive
into the madness and euphoric will to die.
I just want to ask “Who are you to take the decision that surfaced?”

Oh, you pathetic soul, I want to kill you right now
For shadowing your reasons and logical sense somehow.
I wish you were dead when you were brought back to the shore,
I wish you don’t live a second to breathe in this culpable air anymore.

Your eyes and face blemished with pores of salty rage
are signs of the God who let you to live and make me enraged.
Why do you want to free yourself from the prison you built?
Why do you want to inject a feel of shame into me with a pinch of guilt?

Yes. I’m ignorant to all your helpless calls
but life isn’t fair my dear and the truth might be false.
For now you have hurt my will to live
and for that I would never have the heart to forgive.

I wish I knew you, so I could take in the blame
of freeing you from this miserable cage of shame.
I wish I had the courage to choke you to death
like how you wanted to cease your worthless breath.

For now my dear, my wishes are seldom reached
life is for living and that is how my conscience would preach.
Whatever it is that made you think about death
is never enough to cease your worthless breath.